Feeling Beaten Down
Just about I am starting to feel a sense of control in my finance after a year of budgeting with YNAB, my wife told me that I need to give her 30k cash to cover some unexpected expenses, which are completely out of my knowledge. That completely destroy all my budget, now I am back to 0, with mortgage and credit card expenses coming up next month and less than 1k in my bank account. I am feeling so demotivated.
I hope that YNAB was one of the instigators that opened up the dialog. Good luck 🍀 in that regards - I feel some old YNAB prints out might come in handy.
Strategically speaking, it sounds like a case of:
1. ‘rolling with the punches’ - dealing with the unknown (although it was known ‘by some’ 😬
2. Time to get the spouse ‘on board’ with YNAB - carpe diem!
• Hopefully you did the ‘YNAB restart’; it keeps the old budget so you can compare old to new (i.e. lost opportunity analysis)
• Drag out your bargaining chips - they need some ‘skin in this game’ called ‘life’!
• YNAB - a financial AND possible RELATIONSHIP tool - never say never!
3. Time to gamify the financial journey! It’s your move, I believe 🤭🤫 .
4. It’s for you both to shoulder the burden. I hope she understanding the set back. I hope you shared the set back! I hope she is also responsible for helping to repair the budget.
On the upside 😃 - you do (of course) know that YNAB will be able to handle it once you re-gig everything; its like truth serum 🧪 (or a polygraph 😜). It also means that you will be able to deal with it (together) in the most efficient way (YNAB has habit of pointing out all options).
I hope there are no further surprises of this magnitude! I shudder to think that, if you weren’t using YNAB, 🤔 your recovery time might be a lot longer.
YNAB forever xxx💕
Yup, rolling with the punches, except this is a really heavy punch !!!
Anyway, I won't quit. In fact as what NettieFIRE mentioned, I did the YNAB RESTART. Starting from 0 is actually not that bad after I re-examine my budget last year and finally come to a conclusion, if I managed to save 30k before, I definitely can do it again!
2021, A new beginning !!!
My advice FWIW; you need a full, open picture of where you're at:
- Go completely open book with the both of you: lay out all accounts, assets, liabilities, etc in a spreadsheet and get a full accounting of every penny owned and owed.
- Run credit reports for both of you and find any "off the books" accounts that might be lurking
- any past due bills? Any in collections?
- Find the root of the issue with your wife. You mentioned money management issues- make sure you two are completely above board on what those issues are and how to mitigate them...its not just "I overspent", it has to be deeper into wants/needs/fears/etc.
- Once you're organized and know EVERYTHING work on creating a shared vision of your financial future as it pertains to your shared life goals. Obviously YNAB is a huge piece of this and can facilitate things.
Rough one, sorry dude. You're gonna make it brah, get organized and go from there.