Ah... getting serious about YNAB again...
So, freshly single, freshly subscribed to YNAB, got all my accounts and stuff in... Wait. What am I missing? All my liabilities? ... Oh yes, those.
So I am a man. making about 2100 a month. I pay 300 in rent, 64 in phone, and 150 in groceries, 61.60 in internet, and 55.50 in gym.... and I have a laundry list of debt I need to pay off, a laundry list of essential items I need (car and a pair of rain boots) and a coping mechanism... that isn't healthy.
I don't know, I know some of you have done it on this level... but how do I get into that grind without going insane?
As someone that has gone through the breakup, and divorce, of a 16-year marriage and a roller coaster ride of a rebound relationship in the past 18 months, I can feel your pain.
Getting into the "grind" think of it as swimming, you can either dip your toe in and slowly enter the pool or just dive off the deep end.
Personally, I take the dive in approach. What I did about 6 months ago when I started YNAB is list everything I owe, I also had a "shopping" list, I was doing some major work to my truck, needed to fill out my wardrobe and things I wanted/needed to buy. Now several of these lists I actually already had, thanks to the ex-girlfriend. Then I put everything in YNAB and started assigning goals based on what I wanted/needed to accomplish and due dates. I have 2 personal loans to friends that are due by my birthday in March, I am just starting to pay those back, repairing my truck, clothes and other things too priority.
I also took the classes that YNAB offers, several times even, I would always catch something new that I could apply to my situation and plan. Aggressive Debt Pay Down is a very good one in our situation, it outlines the different ways to pay off debt.
I hope that this helps, I can say that with time life does even out.
Dude, you're a saviour!
I have a tendency for extremes, so much like your ex wife, I too would swing from extreme health (1300 cals a day, intense cardio and lifting) to binging like hell. Moderation truly is key in more layers than health, finance as well :)
Those are all super tips, and I do need to get out more. I tend to hole up and learn to program and figure out what I'm going to pay off next, and it makes complete sense why im going a lil crazy. THanks for all the info, it is much appreciated :)
If you like to read at all, read good personal finance blogs. There's lots of PF bloggers that are great at motivating and establishing the right mindset to help you succeed. Everybody has their own favorites, but Mr. Money Mustache and the Millennial Revolution have done a great job of motivating me, personally. They tend to keep the WHY in focus, which helps a big picture guy like me.
Personal finance blogs also tend to be full of tips and tricks for saving, living a more frugal lifestyle, investing, etc. You may not totally agree with every blogger you read, but most of them have something valuable to add to your toolkit.
Best of luck!
Zensei , You can only cut so deep in every sense. My advice would be to stop looking at the whole picture and start looking at it in slices.
First, the breakup....that pain will go away but you can't make it move any faster. So the best is to remind yourself everyday that you need to focus elsewhere.
Second, the debt...stop looking at all the debt as one big number you'll never climb out of and as a monthly or weekly number that's manageable. My SO has XXk in student loan debt. She'd freak out each time she logged in looking at that number and think, I am never going to pay it off. It took a lot of coaching for me to get her to see that it was only a XXX hundred payment per month. Once she saw that the first paycheck covered the payment and that the second paycheck was for everything else, it relaxed her quite a bit. We set a budget goal to pay off the debt and when that budget goal goes green, she knows everything is all right.
Third, you need more income. Side hustles, second jobs, whatever it takes. This is hard for a lot of people. My buddy, I'll call him S complains all the time about making 40K. He comes home at work at 6, opens a beer. watches netflix till 1am, goes to bed, repeats. I tell him to drive uber/lyft for a few hours and he's like, nah, I just need to decompress. WTF.
I get off work at 6 and then come home and do freelance work till 10PM. Yes, it sucks to work from 8AM to 10PM but guess what, I make a lot more.
At the end of the day, you have to be honest with yourself about what you are or aren't willing to do and be ok with those choices.
Good luck with your healing.